Shit Happens in Various World Religions

• Taoism: Shit happens or If you understand shit, it isn't shit.
• Shintoism - You inherit the shit of your ancestors.
• Jehovah's Witness: Let us in and we will tell you why shit happens or Knock Knock, "Shit Happens."
• Confucianism: Confucius say "Shit happens."
• Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit or Shit happens because of desire
• Zen: What is the sound of shit happening?
• Hinduism: This shit happened before or There isn't anything like a good shit happening.
• Islam: If shit happens, it's the will of Allah
• Nation of Islam - Don't take no shit.
• Sikhism - Leave our shit alone
• Hedonism - I love it when shit happens or there isn't anything like a good shit happening.
• Satanism - Sneppah tihs
• Capitalism - This is MY shit.
• Mormonism: Shit happens again & again & again or Excrement happens (don't say shit)
• Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work hard enough
• Stoicism: This shit is good for me
• Christian Science: Shit is only in your mind or Only good shit happens
• Seventh Day Adventist: No shit on Saturdays
• Scientology - If shit happens, see Dianetics. p. 137
• Hare Krishna: Shit happens, shit happens, happens happens, shit happens or Shit happens rama rama ding ding
• Taoism: Shit happens or If you understand shit, it isn't shit.
• Shintoism - You inherit the shit of your ancestors.
• Jehovah's Witness: Let us in and we will tell you why shit happens or Knock Knock, "Shit Happens."
• Moonies: Only happy shit happens
• Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit
• Existentialism: What is shit, anyway?
• Existential Nihilism: Shit happens and then you die
• Quadrinity Process: Shit happens, recycle it
• Unity: There is no shit
• Atheism: Shit happens for no apparent reason or No shit or I don't believe this shit
• Agnostic: Farts happen or Can you prove that shit happens?
• Mysticism - This is really weird shit
• Voodoo - Shit doesn't just happen, we made it happen
• Quakers: Let's have a meeting
• Communism - Let's share the shit
• Marxism - You have nothing to lose but your shit
• Conspiracy Theorism - THEY shit on us!
• Psychoanalysis - Tell me about your shit
• Darwinism - Survival of the shittiest
• Amish - Modern shit is useless
• Suicidal - I've had enough of this shit
• Optimism - Shit won't happen to me
• Trekism - To boldly shit where no-one has shit before
• Shakespearean - To shit or not to shit, that is the question
• Descartes - I shit therefore I am
• Freud - Shit is a phallic symbol
• Lawyers - For enough money, I can get you out of shit
• Acupuncturist - Hold still or this will hurt like shit
• Einstein - Shit is relative
• Disneyism - Bad shit doesn't happen here
• Family gathering - Relatives are shit.
• Materialism - Whoever dies with the most shit, wins
• Vegetarianism - If it happens to shit, don't eat it.
• Fatalism - Oh shit, it's going to happen.
• Environmentalism - Shit is biodegradable
• Statistician - Shit is 84.7% likely to happen
• Tantrism - Fuck this shit
• Cynicism - We are all full of shit.
• Evangelist: Send me all your money or shit will happen to you
• Protestantism: Shit happens, amen to that
  
• Baptism - We'll wash the shit right off you
• Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserved it or It's all your fault
• Judaism: Why does shit always happen to US?
• Orthodox Judaism - So shit happens, already
• New Agers: You needed to have this shit in your life, now visualize it away or Learn the lesson it has to teach. or Visualize shit happening
• Goddess: You can make shit happen but shit will happen to you three times.
• Feminism - Shit happens and it's all men's fault or Men are shit
• Americanism - Who gives a shit
• Politically correct - Internally processed, nutritionally-drained biological output happens
• Surrealism - Fish happens